It Begins This Way
by Zetera
Summary: A Marauder tale set during the first war. A story of love, hate, friendship and betrayal and how, at the end of the day, you only have yourself, alone. SORRY, I forgot this was here, it's been finished for years on my own site and MNFF. Here's the rest!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_November 3rd - 1981_

Remus John Lupin sat alone in the hard wooden church pew. He coughed slightly, sending a loud echo bouncing back to him from the cold stone walls and statues.

His father had always loved this church. John Lupin had been a Muggle-born, and a Christian; Lupin was not a pure-blood name. Remus had always felt some awe whenever he entered a church with his father, he could feel an unexplained calmness enter his soul.

But not today. He was no longer a child, but he had never felt so small in all his life. Tears ran freely down his cheeks without shame. The small church was empty, and there was no-one there to comment on the broken remnants of his life.

Lily and James: dead. Gone forever, like his parents, like his childhood innocence - ripped away from him in one terrible night before this weak silver dawn. Barely two nights ago, October thirty-first: Hallowe'en.

It was almost fitting that it should be Hallowe'en. The night that Muggles and wizards alike renewed their superstitions. The night the Dark Lord Voldemort fell. The dawn should be rejoicing.

_Sirius, a traitor? How? How could he do this to Lily and James, to Dumbledore, to little Peter? How could he do it to me? Sirius had always been bright, he had always been loyal._

_Not always... _said a nasty voice inside his head._ Was he loyal when he tried to use you to kill Snape in school? Was he loyal when he blew Peter and that Muggle street apart only twelve hours ago?_

Remus sat, frozen in shock. All those Muggles, it was so unlike the friend he had held so dearly. Yet he had seen the Ministry take a hysterical Sirius from the street littered with bodies...and his old friend had been so distant from him these past few months...

_Just look at his family... _the voice continued._ The apple never falls far from the tree..._

From his shadowed seat Remus saw the large oak doors creak open. He watched as a figure cloaked in black made his way slowly and tentatively up the aisle, as though expecting to be burned. As the figure sat on a pew not far from Remus, he let his hood fall back. It was Severus Snape.

_What in God's name is that man doing in a Muggle church?_ Remus wondered. His pain was briefly overtaken by curiosity, as he saw the guilt the man in front of him carried. He reached out hesitantly, and touched the shoulder of his childhood enemy.

Snape exhaled heavily in shock, and swung around on his seat to face Remus.

"Lupin!" 

Remus could see suffering and pain in the man's fathomless black eyes, which were quickly masked by their owner.

"What are you doing here, Severus? This is a Muggle church."

"I am perfectly aware of my surroundings, Lupin." His face turned into an ugly sneer. "Haven't you got friends to grieve over? Good to see Potter finally get his come-uppance, although I hear he's left a bit of himself behind."

Remus wanted to lash out, but the grief wracking through his body prevented him from seizing enough energy to do so.

"Yes, a young savior, Harry Potter. And Sirius Black, a traitor to you all, who'd have thought? It seems to me that perhaps your side lost after all, Lupin."

Remus remained quiet, for once he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Of all people to pick," Snape continued, "a Black as a Secret Keeper!"

"What?" said Remus suddenly, and Snape realized he had made a mistake. "How did you know they used a Fidelius Charm?"

"Bad news travels fast," said Snape hastily. He couldn't risk Lupin knowing that he had worked for Dumbledore too. Picking up his cloak, he made to leave quickly, his face set in stone.

"Severus,"

Snape stopped, but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry for your loss, Lupin."

Remus turned around in surprise at these last words, but the church was empty once more. He rose and left, the calm atmosphere had done nothing to relieve his pain. It was raw, but it didn't tear at him. It was more like an old wound that time refused to heal.

He had lost everything he had known, all in one night.

Walking back through Muggle London, he found the crowds were strangely subdued, due to the "gas explosion" that took place barely one day ago. Muggles and disguised wizards were still on the scene, documenting the evidence.

Lily and James. Sirius and Peter. Everything had been fine before that night...he could remember the jokes, the laughter, the life he had loved was gone. Yet he still felt it all.

It was 1979...


	2. Chapter One: Dark Clouds Before the Rain

_1979 The Year of the Prophecy_

Remus walked quickly to the door of his small London flat, pulling it open to reveal a sodden Sirius Black. He turned away from the rain that forced it's way into the house, and resumed packing his small, battered suitcase.

"Hey, Moony, are we going on holidays?"

Remus gave his friend an appraising look as he continued to neatly pack his belongings into his bag.

"I've been evicted. Would you close the door, please?"

Sirius shut the door with a bang that made the furniture vibrate. The cold wind outside whistled through the crack under the door.

"_Again?_ Remus, mate, this is ridiculous."

"I know."

"Where are you going to live?"

"I don't know."

"Well, come live with me. It's no problem... _siriusly_."

"No, thank you."

"Why not?"

Remus closed his suitcase and let a sigh escape his lips, resigning himself, once again, to explaining the fragile situation to Sirius.

"I'm a werewolf, Sirius."

"Well, duh."

"There is nowhere I can transform at your place. The full moon is next week."

"I have that shed out the back..."

"Not good enough."

"Well I'm sorry if it isn't up to your standards -"

"It's not up to Ministry standards, Padfoot. My inspection is tomorrow, and they need to check my place of transformation. It's too late to change it, even if that shed was secure enough, the application takes three to six months, and then..."

"So what are you going to tell them?"

"I... don't know."

"Ah, Moony -"

Remus heaved his case off the bed and headed towards the door.

"That bigot of a landlord has no right to throw you out."

"Unfortunately, he does. I can understand it, I suppose..."

"But, Remus,"

"Come on, Sirius, we'll be late," Remus called from the howling wind.

Sirius stepped out into the icy rain falling from the steely grey sky, his cloak wrapped tightly around him. He glanced at Remus, who shivered in his threadbare robes.

"Feel like Apparating, Moony?"

"Absolutely."

Albus Dumbledore sat alone at a small, dirty table in a room above the Hog's Head tavern. He watched as the minutes ticked by, and made ready to leave as the clock on the wall struck six in the evening. He had barely stood up, when a heavily bangled woman entered the pub, and caught his eye.

"Albus Dumbledore, please forgive my lateness."

"Not at all, not at all. Sybil Trelawney, I presume?"

"Yes, dear. I had foreseen that I would be delayed, however I was unable to contact you..."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore could tell that this woman was putting on a show, but he resolved to hear her out, hoping that he was mistaken. However, as the "Seer" continued to speak in heavily mystical tones about the nature of her art, Dumbledore became steadily more and more disappointed at this woman's apparent lack of her great-grandmother's skill.

Feeling now was the time to let her down gently, the headmaster turned to the woman and thanked her for coming most sincerely, and wished her a safe journey, whilst tactfully informing her that her services were not required at his school.

Turning to leave, with his hand on the doorknob, a sound of gagging and retching met his ears.

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..."_

"What?" Dumbledore hurried to her side as the woman's eyes rolled back into her head, hoping that she wasn't suffering an attack due to his refusal to grant her a post at Hogwarts.

_"Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."_

Dumbledore knew of two couples that fitted this description. However, only Frank and Alice Longbottom were expecting. From the corner of his eye, through the open doorway, Dumbledore thought he could see the barman, his brother, Aberforth, throw someone from the pub at this point.

_"The Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have the power the Dark Lord knows not..."_

Dumbledore went cold at the next line.

_"And either must die at the hands of the other...for neither can live as the other survives..."_

Dumbledore watched, listening very carefully.

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born as the seventh month dies..."_

With that, Sybil Trelawney slumped forward in her chair, before her head snapped up.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry, did I doze off?"

Sirius and Remus walked up the garden path towards Lily and James' house in Godric's Hollow, where the Order of the Phoenix meetings took place. 

Shaking the rain off their clothes, they stepped thankfully inside towards the heat of the house, as the dark rain clouds followed them ominously overhead.

James Potter, spotting two of his best friends, bounded towards them, just as Peter Pettigrew rounded the corner.

"Whoa, mate, watch it!" Sirius exclaimed, "I'm wet enough, thank you, and I don't plan to end up on the sodden grass."

James' hazel eyes twinkled, and he offered a true smile, one rarely seen since the start of the war.

"What is it, James?" asked Remus, noticing immediately that something was going on.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot," James stated proudly, "Lily is pregnant!"

And the dark clouds broke into a heavy rain.


	3. Chapter Two: A Savior is Born

_31st of July 1980_

"Look at him, isn't he perfect?"

"He looks like you dumped boiling water on his head."

"Shut it, Padfoot, new-borns look like that."

"He looks a bit like you."

"I know, isn't it great?"

"Poor kid."

"I'm warning you, Sirius. You'll be lucky we're in a hospital when I'm finished with you."

"I'm only kidding, Prongs! Look Moony, we have an over-protective father on our hands!"

Remus, Sirius and James all stared down at little baby Harry in awe. Sirius dealt with the emotional scene by poking as much fun at James as he could. Lily lay sleeping in the room next to them, as the maternity ward of St. Mungo's buzzed with life.

"_Harry_. Harry _Potter_. James, that's an awful name, what were you thinking?"

"It's Harry _James_ Potter, actually."

"Merlin's beard, it gets worse. He'll never get anywhere in life with a name like that."

"Where's Peter?" Remus interrupted quietly.

"He had to work."

"What, _today_?" asked Remus incredulously. He knew that Dumbledore had given the four friends a break when Lily went into labor earlier that morning. James had been at the hospital all day, while Remus and Sirius had waited at Godric's Hollow for news of the birth. Neither of them had seen Peter at all.

"Yeah, I know. He probably has loads of paperwork to catch up on, you know Wormtail."

"You know me, _what_?"

"Peter!" James shouted, "You made it!" Through the glass window that separated them from Lily, Remus saw her stir slightly in her bed. 

"Where were you?" inquired Sirius.

"Emm... you know, I had some paper work to get rid of. So, is this him?"

"No, Wormtail, I stole this one."

"That's a relief, because he looks like a tomato."

"Right, that's it - yourself and Black can sit in the corner for the rest of the evening."

"What's going on, and must you be so loud about it?" asked Lily from the doorway, her red hair in disarray around her shoulders. She was dressed in a warm night-shirt and robe, and her face was flushed with the heat. She looked livid.

"Sorry Lily, you know how this lot can be," said James, as he carried his sleeping son towards his wife.

Lily's anger ebbed away as she saw the look of concern on the faces of the four men.

"I'm not dying, I'm just exhausted!" laughed the fiery red-head.

"Hear that? Shut up, all of you!" James threatened in jest, he being the loudest of all.

"I was quiet," said Remus in mock hurt, as James entered Lily's room, and closed the door behind him.

Sirius leaned in to speak with Remus. "Full moon tonight, Moony?" he whispered quietly.

"Yes, I know."

"Where will you be?" Sirius continued.

"I'm using the basement at Godric's Hollow."

"What about next month?"

"I don't know, I can't stay there once James brings that baby home, it's too dangerous."

"What are you whispering about?" Peter interrupted.

"Moony's moon."

"I'd rather not discuss this here, thank you, Sirius. Excuse me." Remus left his seat and walked quickly towards the bathroom.

"Where's he off to?"

"Probably to get sick," Sirius said gloomily, "he's always like this the day before."

"I know, I remember."

"I haven't talked to you in months, Peter. Work getting to you?"

"It's alright."

Silence followed as the two men sat in the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital's waiting room. Remus returned, paler than before.

"How are you? Did you get sick?"

"Sirius, I said I don't want to discuss it."

"Oh, I see. _Mood swings are setting in,_" Sirius whispered to Peter, loudly enough so that Remus could hear him, even without the advantage the moon gave to his senses.

"Oh, shut up, I'm tired."

"At least you weren't pushing a person through you," said Lily, as both she and James re-entered the waiting room.

"Thanks for the imagery, Lil's," said Sirius in disgust.

"Don't you think it's time we left?" Remus asked, with a note of plea in his voice, his face looking paler than ever. Outside, the daylight was beginning to fade as the sun made it's way towards the earth.

"Yeah, you three had better head off, I'll see you later," said James, as he continued to stare at his son.

"I'm going to teach that kid to ride my motorcycle," said Sirius happily.

"Don't be daft; he's going to be a Quidditch champion!"

"Forget it, both of you. You're not going anywhere near Harry with flying objects," said Lily sternly.

"She's right." Remus said matter-of-factly. "Besides, I'm going to teach him how to be a werewolf. Of course, I'll have to bite him first, but that shouldn't be a problem," he added, a faint gleam of amusement evident in his tired gray eyes.

"Ha ha ha, Moony. That should help him out."

"He'll need something interesting with a name like Harry James Potter," joked Sirius.

"Get out, all of you, it's getting late," ordered James, "I'll see you tomorrow." Lily lay their son to sleep in the cot next to her bed.

"See you tomorrow, so, when it's back to work for you, James!" said Sirius, happy in the knowledge that his friend wasn't getting any more time off work. The war was becoming a real strain for all of them, and underneath the laughter, they all knew it.

"Whenever you're ready, Padfoot," said Remus, with a bite of impatience in his voice.

"Hmm... we'd better leave," said Sirius in a tone of mock concern, "his bloody hormones are back in action."

"I _can_ hear you, you know."

"That's why I said it so loudly," smirked Sirius. "Oh alright, we're going, keep your hair on. Or off, actually, until we get you in the basement."

With that, Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot left St. Mungo's maternity ward, and Apparated to Godric's Hollow in the glowing sunset.


	4. Chapter Three: A Suspicious Mind

Sirius Black stared at his friend in shock. He wasn't going to believe it. No, this could not be true. No one in their right minds would have let this happen.

"I refuse to believe this," he said flatly.

"Believe it, Padfoot," said James in triumph. "I have beaten you once again."

"No bloody way." Sirius stared at the chessboard in disbelief. "It's impossible for you, you of all people, to beat me four times straight!"

"Moony, could we have your verification here please? Have I, or have I not checked Padfoot's king into next week?"

"In case you haven't noticed," a weary Remus reminded his friends, "we're in the middle of a war."

"Exactly. A just war, against Prong's cheating army."

The small white chess pieces on James's side of the board began waving their fists angrily at Sirius.

"We're on a recon mission tomorrow, Moony. We need a break. Trust me when I say we're fully prepared."

Remus raised his head above a mountain of parchment. "I would appreciate some help. I can't track Malfoy down."

"His house is a little hard to miss, Moony."

"You know what I mean. I know he was involved in the Prewett's murder, but he has aliases for the whole day, and there isn't a single discrepancy in any of his movements."

"Okay, maybe someone is lying for him," offered Sirius, bored with the game.

"Really, you think so?" asked James sarcastically.

"I know that, Padfoot," interrupted Remus, "but he's covered his tracks well."

"I think you should keep it down," said Peter, as he entered the room. Arthur Weasley is in the kitchen with Lily."

"Oh Merlin, I forgot. The Prewetts were related to Molly, weren't they?"

"Well, this has put a dampener on the evening," Sirius moaned.

"If you could be serious about something for once in your life - "

"But I'm always Sirius."

"If you make that stupid joke one more time – " warned James in mock threat.

A sharp knocking on the door of the Potter house brought a sudden end to the conversation. James stood to take Harry from Lily as she looked through the spy hole.

"It's alright, it's Dumbledore."

Opening the front door quickly, Lily invited an ashen-faced Dumbledore inside. Remus and James stood to greet their old headmaster as Sirius remained staring at the chessboard. Peter had disappeared again.

"Sirius, get up," hissed James, "Dumbledore is here."

"Oh, right. Hello sir, I didn't see you there."

"Please, sit down. I have some news for you all. I was going to wait until the meeting of the Order, but I must speak with you first James, and you Lily."

Sirius and Remus stood to leave, but Dumbledore called them back.

"You may stay. Your friends have need of you. Where is Peter?"

"Oi, Peter!" yelled Sirius, "Get out here, Dumbledore's got news!"

Peter returned looking flushed and nervous. He sat next to Remus as his eyes continued to dart all over the room, avoiding Dumbledore's gaze.

"There is no easy way for this to be said. Another of our group has fallen. The McKinnons have been killed."

The room became suddenly quiet. Sirius stared at Dumbledore in genuine shock this time. Peter's breathing became quite heavy as Remus put his head in his hands. Finally, James broke the silence.

"When?"

"Last night. Aurors are still working on the scene."

"Why?" asked Sirius quietly, "Why them? What did they do?"

"Drawers and chests had been raided and smashed to pieces. They had valuable information, and the Death Eaters knew it. I must ask you all to be extra vigilant at this time. It is not known that any of you are in the Order, but you are most certainly suspected."

"What do you want us to do?"

"I'm afraid there isn't anything you can do. Your mission tomorrow must go ahead as planned; there is no time to alert anyone else to any changes. You must be careful."

A heavy silence returned to the room once more. The four Marauders shifted uncomfortably in their seats, unusually anxious about their next bout of rule breaking.

"Lily, James, I must speak with you," Dumbledore turned towards Remus, Sirius and Peter, "privately."

Sirius, Remus and Peter turned to leave immediately. Once the door was closed, Dumbledore turned to Lily and James with a grave expression upon his face, mingled with concern.

"There is something you need to know, both of you, and no one else must know this. I understand that both of you trust your friends, but if you value your lives you will put your trust in me."

"Sir, what is it? Has something else happened?" 

"It concerns your son."

Lily held Harry close to her as James put a comforting arm around his wife.

"Harry is barely five months old, Professor. What can he have to do with any of this?"

"Quite a lot, I'm afraid. Voldemort knows who you are. He sees you as one of his biggest threats. However, he is unsure; the situation as he sees it is unclear. Another couple that you know well match the same description. I believe you will be safe for some time, but precautions must be put in place."

"Emm…" began James, "you've lost me. What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry to both of you, but I can't say anymore here. These walls have ears."

"But… the only people out there are our friends."

"Yes," said Dumbledore quietly, "I know."

Sirius waited impatiently outside the door.

"What could they be talking about?"

"Anything, who knows?"

"Worried about tomorrow, Moony?"

Remus could see that despite Sirius's light air, he was afraid.

"I am now, Padfoot."

"Yeah, me too."

Silence fell between the three friends once more as they listened to the low incoherent mumblings of Dumbledore in the next room.

"I can't believe that about the McKinnions," Sirius continued hastily. "The Prewetts were only just… I mean…" he fell silent.

Peter wandered over to look at a painting on the opposite wall.

"We're being picked off one by one, aren't we?" asked Sirius suddenly.

"Don't say things like that, Padfoot."

"We are though, aren't we?"

No one could give him an answer. There was no one there that could admit to the awful truth.

They were losing this war.


	5. Chapter Four: Thin Ice

Knockturn Alley appeared dark and dank on the cold December evening. Remus shivered as Sirius and James took a cautious look around the street corner. Peter stayed behind Remus.

"Hmm, quiet, dark, everything seems horribly normal here. Not even Dark wizards want to be out on a night like this, but here we are, freezing away, just so -"

"Alright, Padfoot, give it a rest."

"It_is_ very quiet," added Remus. "I don't like this."

"Thank you, Moony!" exclaimed Sirius. "My point exactly. You see, that's why you're my friend, Remus, I can rely upon you to back me up, unlike these two." He gave James and Peter a shove, which James returned, but Peter moved away.

"What's up, Peter?"

"I just think we should get this done," said Peter stiffly.

"Well, I never! Who would have thought you would be the professional about this?"

"Give it a rest, Padfoot," repeated James.

"I'm just saying -"

"There it is," Remus interrupted, pointing at a patch of the wall facing them, which looked exactly the same as the rest.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"How can you tell? There isn't so much as a chink of light!"

"I just know."

"But,_how_?"

"I...I can smell the blood."

"Oh. Handy."

"It's just because the full moon is close now. Besides, the smell is strong. Someone must be bleeding."

"Okay, positions please. And let's try to look casual."

"Stealth never was your strong point, was it, Black?"

A man that the Marauders knew only too well rounded the corner, a nasty sneer playing about his mouth. He shot Remus and Peter a scathing look before focusing his attention upon James and Sirius.

"Snivellus, long time, no see. And we're so much better for it. Run along now."

"No, Prongs," murmured Sirius, "he wants to stay. Let's give him what he came for." Sirius withdrew his wand like a sword, and directed it towards Snape's throat. Strangely, Snape did not whip out his own wand, but leaned casually against the wall, still sneering.

"Leave it, Sirius," hissed James. "We have a job to do."

Sirius reluctantly pocketed his wand against his better judgement. Although they had no evidence, he was sure that Snape was not in Knockturn Alley for the good of his health.

"It's strange to see that you're not as rash as you were in our school days, Black. Perhaps your judgement has improved, or have you finally reduced yourself to the level of those you call your friends?"

Sirius turned around very slowly. "You're begging for it,_Snivellus_. "

"Perhaps I am. Why don't you have a go?"

Sirius was on the verge of pulling out his wand once more, but Snape started slightly, clutching his forearm.

"What are you doing?" jeered Sirius. "Getting scared? It's about time -"

"I …" Snape paused, as though unsure of what to say, but afraid of losing face.

"I have to go," he stated weakly, and left, his black robes billowing out behind him.

"What the hell was that about?" Sirius asked in confusion. He seemed mildly irritated that he had missed an opportunity to give Snape a good thrashing. James interrupted him by gesturing towards the blank wall ahead.

"C'mon, let's go."

A chink of light had appeared in the non-existent doorway hidden within the dank wall.

"Right you were, Remus," smiled Sirius jovially as though nothing had disturbed the four friends. "Okay, in you go, Wormtail."

"What?" cried Peter in indignation.

"Well, you're the rat. Figuratively speaking, of course."

"Why don't you go?" Peter implored James.

"I think they'd notice a stag cantering in, Peter."

"Do stags canter? Isn't that horses?" interrupted Sirius.

"I believe that stags can canter if they want."

"I'm sure they could."

"Is that really the point?"

"Of course not, our sensible Moony. Besides, I can't go in, I've been overdoing the loveable stray act of late, and as much as I relish the thought of Moony tearing out a few Death Eater throats, it's not the full moon. So, it's down to you, Peter. We discussed this already."

"You lot discussed it, I wasn't there!"

"That's true," said James thoughtfully, "where were you that day?"

"I…"

"Hold it, hold it," hissed Remus.

"Hold what, Moony?" asked Sirius innocently, his face full of laughter.

"We have a suspected Death Eater on his way out," muttered Remus, wisely choosing to ignore Sirius at this point. "Due to your ridiculous arguing, we'll have to proceed to Plan B. I fail to see how you get anything done without me."

"Oh, ha ha -" Sirius began.

"So, what's Plan B then?" asked Peter.

"Knock him out."

James directed his wand towards the dark cloak moving steadily towards them.

"Stupefy!"

A jet of red light hit the body squarely on the chest, and it crumpled.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't brother Regulus?" whispered Sirius as he lifted the man's hood. "Oh, how I struggle to resist the urge to write on him," he smirked, as he withdrew his wand.

"Leave it, Sirius. Hey, look, I was right, his hand is cut."

"Well done Moony, five stars. Okay, I think we can safely revert to Plan A once more. Off you go, Peter."

With much grumbling, Pettigrew set off down the passage in his rat form to reveal as much as he could about the newly discovered hideaway.

"Ahh," Sirius sighed as he leaned casually against a wall, "Don't you just love recon? All play, no work."

"Okay," said Peter as he re-emerged. "It seems to be a secret entrance to a backroom of a shop. It looks like Borgin and Burkes actually -"

"Borgin and Burkes?" remarked Sirius. "That's odd. Oh, do you remember that time," Sirius began as he nudged James in the ribs, "when we snuck in there -"

"How many were in there, Peter?" inquired Remus, as Sirius burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"There's about twenty-five to thirty Death Eater's in there, some we know, and some we don't. They're just drinking and chatting, I …I think their meeting's over."

"Damn!" swore Sirius.

"Any sign of Snape?"

"None that I could see."

"I'd bet my life that that berk is a Death Eater."

"Innocent until proven guilty," muttered Remus.

"Whatever. Let's head back, at least we have some fresh names for Dumbledore.

The four friends turned towards the glowing street lamps of Diagon Alley. Under their soft glow, two figures moved quietly among the shadows.

"So, what do you think?"

Severus Snape emerged from the gloom.

"I still think we should kill them now, Lucius. They are within range, it would be so simple -"

"Let the rat do his job. We have our orders."

"But,"

"Let them go, Severus," ordered Malfoy, as he watched the retreating backs of the Marauders. "They will not get in the way. They are too young, and too foolish to realize the greatness of our cause."

"I am not too young, nor am I foolish," Snape replied stubbornly. "I know what –"

"Peace! You have proved your worth to your master, you do not need to lecture me on your abilities. But remember your place in this. To incur the wrath of the Dark Lord is not recommended. Those fools," muttered Malfoy as he gestured towards the Marauders, "are on thin ice."

With a swish of his cloak, Malfoy Disapparated, leaving Snape alone in the darkness. After a short time, he reluctantly followed him, leaving the alley deserted once more.


	6. Chapter Five: Desperate Measures

Lily and James sat in Dumbledore's beautiful circular office, each feeling very much as though they were school children again, showing the headmaster an ambitious project. Dumbledore sat in silence, poring over their notes, stopping occasionally to look at the couple in front of him.

"Where's Harry?" he said finally.

"With Sirius," Lily explained. "He decided that he wants to spend some quality time with his godson."

"But it's okay," interjected James. "Lily said that she'd put a permanent sticking charm to the wheels of his motorbike if he put Harry anywhere near it. Besides," he continued awkwardly, "it'll be good practice for him, in case … you know …"

"Yes, I do know. But that's not really the point."

Dumbledore glanced back at the notes in front of him, as James and Lily exchanged a confused look.

"You say the concealed entrance led to Borgin and Burkes?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm, that would make sense. Who discovered the entrance?"

"Remus did, sir."

"Where is Remus now?"

"I… I think he's at home, sir," answered James, feeling all the more like a school boy with each sentence.

"At what time approximately did you gain entrance to the passage?"

"Err, around half ten?"

"Hmm. Yet Peter claims that the meeting was over?"

"Yes, sir."

"Perhaps. Yet, other sources state… ah, well, no matter, that's not really the point either."

"Then, professor, what is the point?" asked James, feeling rather rude as he did so. However, he was tired of Dumbledore's riddles. James wanted to know everything that Dumbledore did concerning his family.

"In truth, James, I can deny it to you no longer. You both remember the Prophecy of which I spoke about before?"

"How could we forget?" Lily muttered.

"Unfortunately for you both, I now have reason to believe that it_is_ your son, and not Frank and Alice's child that was mentioned. However, this is not clear, and the Longbottoms are still on high alert. Yet -"

"But, sir!" interrupted James loudly, "nothing's happened yet! Voldemort hasn't attacked, how can you know -"

"_Yet_," Dumbledore continued slowly, "there is one thing that is very clear to me at this time." Dumbledore paused, and a sad certainty appeared in his eyes. "Harry is in grave danger."

* * *

"Sirius, watch him!"

"I am."

"He's going to fall!"

Remus strode quickly towards the couch and brought Harry back from it's edge. Sirius continued to read calmly through his notes as Remus carried the squealing one year old back to his godfather.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What are you going to do with him?"

Sirius shrugged. "Aren't these things supposed to look after themselves?"

"That's cats, Padfoot."

Sirius took Harry into his arms as he placed his notes on the table beside him.

"No worries, he's with his godfather."

"That doesn't mean that you know how to take care of him."

"Wouldn't it be great if they came with instruction manuals?"

"You wouldn't read it anyway."

"Too true, Moony." Sirius stood up and walked around Remus's shabby sitting room, bouncing Harry along as he did so.

"You're going to make him sick," said Remus, without looking up from his notes.

"No I won't," replied Sirius, as he continued to bounce Harry up and down. "Would I make you sick, godson of mine? Mr. Moony seems to think so. But what the hell does he know?"

"You're not taking this seriously, Padfoot."

"On the contrary, I'm taking this very Siriusly."

"Oh, ha, ha, I walked right into that one," Remus muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"I said I can't concentrate!" snapped Remus.

"Well!" exclaimed Sirius in fake surprise. He turned to address Harry. "What do we think of Mr. Grouchy? We're not very impressed, are we? How's about we go and explore the rest of Mr. Grouchy's new flat?"

Sirius waltzed towards Remus's bedroom with Harry under his arm.

"Sirius, come back."

Remus got up and followed them into his room. Sirius continued to bounce Harry higher and higher into the air, stopping only when he saw that Remus had followed them, papers in hand.

"How are we supposed to get this work done if you're just going to play with him?"

"Hey, I was fully concentrating on those notes, and you told me to play with Harry."

"No, I -"

"So, as the dutiful friend, I did what you asked."

"Sirius -"

"But now you come along to drag me away from my godson to get back to the work you previously stopped me from doing! I ask you, how much can one man give?"

Remus began to laugh.

"Fine, you stay there. I'll just finish this off myself, shall I?"

"I think that would be best."

"Oh, Lord," sighed Remus as he collapsed onto an armchair to finish his work. "I don't know how Lily and James manage."

"With Harry? He's an angel!"

"I know. I'm talking about you."

Sirius threw a well – aimed cushion at Remus, while Harry, true to prediction, proceeded to vomit all over the bedroom floor.

* * *

"You… you suspect our friends?" asked James weakly.

"Without knowing it, you have both come very close to serious assault in the past two weeks. It has been only with the help of an informant that I managed to remove you from Voldemort's eye. There is someone close to you that has been betraying your whereabouts."

"They wouldn't do that to us."

"The Longbottoms have come under attack also, but none by Voldemort himself since the Prophecy was made. It is for this reason among others that I think Voldemort has singled out Harry as his opponent and threat. You have both faced Voldemort three times, and survived. However, I think it would be unwise to attempt a fourth."

"No one… _no one_ would do this to us."

"I must suggest that the time has come for you to go into hiding. Everyone will understand; consider it for the safety of your son. Hiding from Voldemort will not be easy; you will need to cut yourselves off completely from the outside world. I recommend the _Fidelius Charm_. You remember it, I'm sure, from your days with Professor Flitwick?"

"Yeah," muttered James, trying desperately to take it all in, "don't you need someone's soul?"

"In a way, yes. The secret you wish to keep must be concealed inside a single soul, and it cannot be revealed unless the Secret Keeper divulges it. That is why neither of you can be the Secret Keeper, as no one will be able to find you in order for you to divulge your whereabouts, when the time comes for you to be released from the charm. You will need to choose someone trustworthy. Don't worry, you will not need to hide for long. I will find your betrayer."

"This is ridiculous; none of our friends would betray us."

"James, you're not listening to me. This is serious."

"We'd better get Sirius in here then."

Dumbledore did not laugh. On the contrary, he became even graver.

"It is a select few that know your whereabouts at all times, James. When you wonder who your Judas is, look towards those closest to you."

"Sirius would never betray me!" stated James angrily. "He's like a brother."

"Yet, look at how he treats his own brother."

"Take that back," James spat. "You know what his brother is. Sirius is nothing like his family."

"I know," said Dumbledore gently. "I merely ask that you approach this objectively."

"Which is far from what you're doing!"

"Little Peter would never do it to us either," interrupted Lily.

"You're right Lil'. And neither would Remus. _Unless_," James rounded on Dumbledore, "you're going to bring the fact that he's a _werewolf_ into this."

"Of course not. In truth, I have great difficulty in believing that it is any of them. But this debate is pointless without evidence. What is of utmost importance now is getting you into hiding. You must choose a Secret Keeper. Think about it for tonight and then -"

"Sirius."

"I beg your pardon?"

"We want Sirius to be our Secret Keeper," said James as he grasped Lily's hand. "He's Harry's godfather, and my best friend. He won't betray us."

"James, are you sure? For Sirius's own safety, it is more likely that he could be captured than I." Dumbledore stood up to face the couple from across his desk. "I would be more than willing to be your Secret Keeper."

James and Lily stood also.

"Thank you, professor, but Sirius would rather die than betray us. I know him. I want him to do it."

Dumbledore looked desperately at Lily, but she shook her head.

"I trust Sirius completely. I'm standing by James; I want Sirius to do it."

"Very well," sighed Dumbledore, as he sat down again. "Collect Harry and return to Godric's Hollow with Sirius. I will meet you there."

As Lily and James turned to leave, Dumbledore called them back.

"I implore you, no matter how much you believe in them, do not tell Remus and Peter what you are doing."


	7. Chapter Six: Above Suspicion

**Chapter Six: Above Suspicion**

Mutterings and whispers came from one of the corners of Remus' sitting room, as James quickly relayed Dumbledore's plan to Sirius.

"You're what?!" Sirius exclaimed loudly.

"Shh, please," whispered James. He looked over his shoulder to check if Remus had heard. "No one else can know."

"Yeah, but… are things really that serious?"

James cocked an eyebrow at this question.

"Wait – I just heard it," Sirius began to laugh.

"Will you do it?"

"What, be your Secret Keeper? Of course, mate."

"Thanks, I knew you would. It doesn't matter what Dumbledore thinks."

James visibly relaxed, and he watched as Remus played with Harry; Lily talking animatedly to keep his attention away from James and Sirius' discussion. The sitting room door opened to reveal a tired looking Peter. He took off his cloak and crossed the room to Remus, waving in their direction.

"Hey, guys."

Sirius and James ignored him.

"What did Dumbledore think?"

"Oh, he wanted to be the Secret Keeper. You know what he's like lately – 'there are spies everywhere…'"

Sirius' entire demeanor changed. He drew himself up to his full height as his expression darkened. James recognized the danger signs immediately.

"So, he doesn't trust me."

"Come on, Sirius, it's not like that. He doesn't trust anyone."

"Yeah, including me. I bet you agreed with him, didn't you? You decided that obviously we're all killers, so you'd keep this quiet, and run away into hiding and -" Sirius' voice was growing louder and louder.

"Padfoot, shut it!" James hissed. Remus had turned his head slightly in their direction. "You're being ridiculous. I'm telling you, aren't I? I trust you."

"What about Remus? What about Peter? Hey, what about Lily, Prongs? Maybe she's behind it all!"

"Shut up, you prat."

"Then why don't you tell them?"

"Because…" James allowed his response to dwindle into the silence.

"That's not an answer," Sirius said after a while.

"Because of Dumbledore."

"So?" sneered Sirius. "You said you trust us!"

"Yeah, I know, but…"

"But what?!"

"I trust Dumbledore more, alright?" James shot back.

Sirius opened his mouth in surprise, taken aback by this.

"No, I – that didn't come out right. I just mean that I think we should do this his way. It's Dumbledore, Sirius, he won't steer us wrong."

Sirius remained silent.

"Besides, it's unlikely that it's as serious as Dumbledore is saying. Erring on the side of caution, so to speak. The Longbottoms are in hiding too. It's only for a while, until it's safe."

Sirius nodded silently.

"Dumbledore reckons that someone close to Lily and me has been passing information. Voldemort knows too much about us, he's been one step ahead all year."

Sirius' head snapped up at this.

"What? Who does he think it is?" Sirius looked ready to whip out his wand and curse the perpetrator into smithereens.

"He doesn't know, but… he thinks it's one of us four. Well, obviously not me."

"So, like I said, he doesn't trust me."

"Well… I still want you to be the Secret Keeper."

Sirius' expression softened. "Of course, Prongs. I wouldn't back out of that."

In the background, Lily was running out of things that she could talk about at length. Remus politely continued their conversation, but Peter was on his way over.

"What's going on? You two look very conspiratorial."

"Ah, it's nothing," James lied hastily.

"C'mon, don't leave me out!"

"Prongs here," began Sirius, clapping a hand on James' shoulder, "reckons the Chudley Cannons are in with a chance in the League."

"Really?" Peter looked doubtful, but decided not to question it. "No way, Prongs, the Arrows will beat them for sure."

"Just as I said, Pete," said Sirius jovially.

"Okay, well, that wraps that up," James finished. "I'm going to say hello to my son."

As James crossed the room, Peter stayed behind with Sirius.

"So, what were you really talking about?"

"James had a…" Sirius struggled to find the right words, "…a man's problem. Don't mention it. "

"Oh," realization dawned in Peter's eyes. "Okay."

Sirius picked up his wand and stuffed it in his cloak as he prepared to leave Remus' flat. The Potters had left hours before, and were busy spell-proofing Godric's Hollow.

"Remus?"

There was no answer. Sirius eyed the pile of papers on Remus' desk. Remus always seemed to have more papers on his desk anyone else. This was largely due to his meticulousness, but Sirius now looked upon the parchment with suspicion. His talk with James and left him feeling cold and full of doubt; the war was closer to him now than it had ever been. Before, it was a distant concern, something he needed to help stop. Now, it threatened to tear his life apart.

Without a second thought, Sirius crossed the room and rummaged through Remus' desk. He was not sure what he was looking for, but he kept searching for something, anything - just in case.

Holding a piece of parchment up to the candle-light, he tried to make out the spidery, cramped scrawl. It was not Remus' writing.

He jumped violently when a voice sounded at his back. Spinning around, he came face to face with Remus, who was wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Were you calling me?"

"Wh – emm, yeah… but it's okay now." Sirius tried to hide the fact that he was holding the piece of parchment.

"Are you looking for something?"

"No. I mean – I was, but I'm not now."

Remus looked at him quizzically. Sirius was beginning to feel guilty; Remus was one his best friends, he would never turn to darkness.

"What were you and James talking about earlier?"

Sirius thought quickly. He guessed that the same excuses he had used with Peter were hardly going to wash with Remus Lupin.

"Ah, not much, you know? Just having a chat. Seeing how he's doing, you know, with all the pressure."

"Right."

"What were you and Lily discussing?"

"Not much. I got the impression she was trying to keep me talking."

_Damn,_ thought Sirius, _nothing gets past Moony._

"Well, you know. She hasn't seen you in a while; she probably just wanted to catch up."

"Hmm."

An awkward silence followed. More candles flickered into life around them as dusk began to settle outside.

"Okay," Remus lay down his cloth on a nearby table and picked up his cloak. "I have to go."

"Really? Where are you going?"

"I -" Remus paused, his eyes drawn to Sirius' hand, "what's that?"

"What?"

"In your hand. Were you looking through my papers?"

"No, I – I thought they were mine. But they're not."

"No, they're mine."

"Right. But, I was wondering," Sirius held out the roll of parchment, "this isn't your writing. What is it?"

Remus examined the parchment.

"Dumbledore gave it to me."

Sirius' suspicions flared up again, as quickly as they had died.

"It's not Dumbledore's writing."

"I know. He just wanted to check if the information provided was accurate."

Sirius snatched the parchment back. As he scanned the page, his stomach sunk horribly.

"It's about Lily and James."

"I know."

"Well, I didn't get anything like this!"

"Then take it up with Dumbledore, Sirius," said Remus wearily. "I'm sure he just forgot to make you a copy."

"Very funny." Sirius watched as Remus put on his traveling cloak. "So, where are you going then?"

"Work."

"We're not working now."

Remus turned around. "I know, Padfoot. I'm talking about the kind of work you get paid for."

Sirius wanted to shake Remus.

"You don't have a job."

"But I have an interview."

"At seven o' clock?"

"Yes. What are you getting at, Sirius? Are you trying to accuse me of something?"

Silence followed these words.

"You're not above suspicion, you know," Sirius said finally. "None of us are."

"Padfoot, relax. Everything will be fine. We've got Dumbledore, for God's sake! What _did_ James say to you?"

"Forget it."

Remus stared at Sirius with a flicker of anger evident in his gray eyes.

"Fine." Giving up, Remus headed towards the door. "Please continue looking through the rest of my things."

Remus left Sirius standing in the semi-darkness as the candles extinguished themselves. After a few moments, he grabbed his cloak, and after making sure his wand was still in his pocket, he set out for Godric's Hollow.


	8. Chapter Seven: A Change In Plan

**Chapter Seven: A Change in Plan**

Sirius stormed from the little house, fuming at his best friend. It was obvious, so obvious that Sirius felt like kicking himself for not realising it sooner. Remus was the spy.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks. Snow started to fall gently from the sky, settling on his raven hair. It was strange to have such snow fall in October, but it had been an unusually cold month.

Could Remus really be the spy?

Of course he is, of course!

_Remus_. Remus Lupin. The friend, the advisor… the werewolf.

No, no he was not going to allow the prejudices of his kind to affect him. Remus was a good person. He had always been a good friend. He was always good in school. He was always good at keeping out of trouble, always having James and me taking the blame alone while he took the high road.

No.

No, he stood by us. Or rather, we stood by him. We became animagi, and he allowed us to run around school; he allowed himself, and he knew how dangerous he was.

That's not fair, he was so alone. He needed us.

Maybe he doesn't need us any more.

How much are they paying him?

Sirius kicked a street lamp and immediately regretted it as he winced in pain. The snow covered cobble stones glittered as they stretched away into the night, undisturbed by foot prints. It seemed as though the whole world was asleep.

Sirius coughed and his voice bounced back to him eerily. His rage ebbed away as fear began to creep in. He may be good with a wand, but it was foolish to be out alone at a time like this. Filled with a sudden desire to escape from this deserted street, Sirius strode forth out of the gloom towards the Potters' house. He considered changing into his animagus form but the thought was soon driven from his mind as he was rammed hard in the back.

Falling to the ground, Sirius blinked the snow from his eyes as he turned to face his attacker, wand at the ready. The other man had his wand out too, and was pointing it uncertainly into his face.

"Peter?"

"_Sirius_?"

"What, are you trying to put my eye out?"

"Sorry," said Peter as he hastily stuffed his wand into his pocket. Extending a hand towards Sirius, he got him to his feet.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing. I just came from Remus' house. Where are you off to? It's late."

"Yeah, I – I was on my way to Remus."

"At this hour?"

"Well, it's not as though he's got work in the morning is it?"

Sirius was surprised at this uncharacteristically snide remark. "I wouldn't be so sure," he muttered.

"What?"

"He's not there," said Sirius. I'm on my way to James, so -"

"He's not there? Where is he?"

"I don't know, but I could guess. Do you think he's been acting a bit weird lately?"

"Who, Remus?"

"Who do you think, the guy next door?" Sirius snapped impatiently. "I'm not sure about him anymore."

"The guy next door?"

"No, _Remus_! God, Wormtail, am I speaking too fast?"

"I don't think he's been acting weird."

"I dunno… someone is doing it, and he fits the bill. I would never have suspected him before, but… well he practically jumped down my throat when I went through his stuff, though I suppose I would have done the same…"

"What are you talking about?"

Sirius lowered his voice. "Dumbledore reckons we have a spy."

Peter lost what little color was left in his face. His fist closed around his wand inside his pocket.

"You alright, Pete? I know, it was a shock to me too, but it makes a horrible kind of sense. Voldemort knows too much."

"Why do you think it's Remus though?"

"Well it's not me, and it's not you, is it?"

"Well, obviously not," Peter laughed nervously.

"And Dumbledore reckons it's someone close to us. It has to be."

"Now that you mention it, Remus has been slipping away a lot. I mean, I know he says he's struggling to find work and stuff, but you never know, I mean -"

"Yeah… yeah that's true," interjected Sirius thoughtfully. "Look, I have to head off, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Peter relaxed his grip on his wand. "Yeah, okay. See you then."

Sirius rounded the corner and kept walking, lost in thought. Peter was right, and now Sirius had proof that it wasn't all in his head. Unfortunately Peter was not the most credible witness, and Sirius knew he would have to come up with something more solid against Remus before Dumbledore took any action.

No one would believe Peter; not on his own. He needed someone else to back him up on this. Maybe James would think the same thing. What if Peter said something to Remus that might put him on his guard? Damn, he would be stupid enough to do it too. Although Remus would hardly expect Peter to know anything of importance.

And for the second time that night, Sirius stopped dead in his tracks.

_That's it!_

No one in their right mind would ever, _ever_ suspect Peter of knowing anything.

Sirius turned quickly and ran back the way he came.

"Peter! PETER!!!"

Peter had not moved very far since they had last spoken, but in his excitement Sirius did not notice. He watched warily as Sirius ran towards him.

"What's wrong?"

Sirius skidded to a halt in the snow beside him.

"Peter, I need you to come to Godric's Hollow with me."

Lily looked uncertainly from Peter, James and Sirius, before finally allowing her gaze to rest upon Harry.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I," added James. "No offence Peter, it's just, well, this is a delicate operation."

"Exactly!" said Sirius excitedly. "Think about it, it's so perfect! No one would ever assume you'd use Peter! No offence, Wormtail," he added as an afterthought.

"None taken," said Peter, through a horribly forced smile.

"Look, James, I'm not backing out on you. You know that. It's just that they're sure to come after me, and if they do find me, I don't know what will happen. They'd have to kill me before I'd talk, but if they use Veritaserum or Imperius -"

"It's okay, Sirius."

"No, wait," said Sirius hastily, "I need you to know, I will do this in a heartbeat if you think it's the best thing to do. I just think this is a good idea."

"What do you think?" James asked Lily.

"Are you up to this, Peter? No one will think any less of you if you don't want to do it."

"I'd be happy to do it," smiled Peter. _Like you could think any less of me than you already do_, he thought angrily.

"I think it's a good idea," said James slowly.

"What Sirius says makes sense, but... we should see what Dumbledore thinks."

"There's no time for that," said Sirius impatiently. Dumbledore left the instructions for the Charm, and it has to be done tonight, or you'll have to wait for the next new moon. You know you can't afford that," Sirius added darkly. "Besides, he was happy enough for me to do it, what's the difference?"

"Yes, that's true," said Lily. "Alright, if Peter's willing, I think we should do it. It will buy us more time in case... in case anything goes wrong."

"It won't," said Sirius firmly.

"Okay. Okay, we'll do it." James glanced at Peter. "Are you sure, Wormtail?"

Peter stared straight into James' eyes. "I'm sure."

"Right then, I'll be off," smiled Sirius, clearly delighted with his plan. "Harry," said Sirius, as he kissed him on the forehead, "Lily," giving her a brief hug, "James… look after yourself, mate. I'll see you soon."

"Hopefully," smiled James.

After clapping James on the back, Sirius headed for the door, calling to Peter over his shoulder.

"See you tomorrow, Peter."

James, Lily and Peter all stared at each other as Harry yawned. Holding their son between them, Lily and James took out their wands and crossed them, as Peter extended his own.

"Ready to disappear?"

"Now, if ever," said Lily nervously, as James jerked his head in agreement.

The first spark emanated from Peter's wand as the front door banged shut.


	9. Chapter Eight: The Betrayal

**Chapter Eight: The Betrayal**

Lily Potter woke with a start as a clap of thunder rumbled through the house in Godric's Hollow. A lightening bolt tore through the sky, illuminating the room as she sat up in bed; her fiery hair hanging in disorder about her face.

James was beside her, sprawled across the sheets with his glasses askew; the Daily Prophet still in his hand. Lily hoped he would not wake; he had finally managed to get to sleep three hours ago. They were both finding it harder to sleep these nights.

Lily took the paper from James' hand and realized it was a week old. They had heard nothing since the Charm had been enacted, and saw no one; no one could come except for Peter and even he did not visit. Lily realised that he could be dead and they would not know. No one could ever tell them; they would be stuck in this magic forever…

"Hey there, pretty lady," said James sleepily.

"Hi. Did I wake you?

"No, all hell breaking loose outside woke me. How long has this storm been going on for?"

"Since three o'clock."

"What time is it now?" asked James, rubbing his eyes.

"Five."

"Ah, Merlin!" James stood behind Lily, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You okay?"

"I'm sick of this."

"The Charm's only been on for a week, Lil'."

"A week of being indoors, seeing no one, hearing nothing! Anything could have happened!"

James turned her around to face him, and kissed her gently on the forehead. "If anything serious happened, Dumbledore would get Peter to come and tell us."

"Yes, but -"

"Relax, it'll be over soon."

"You don't know that. This could go on for years."

A bright flash of lightening and a very loud thunder clap later, and Lily was scooping a bawling Harry out of his crib, his piercing green eyes swimming with tears.

"Ssshh, ssshh, loud noise and bright lights can't hurt my baby…" she sang softly as she rocked Harry in her arms.

"You know one good thing about this Fidelius Charm, Lil'," said James with a smile.

Lily brushed her hair back from her face as Harry fell back to sleep against her chest.

"Oh, and what's that?"

"We won't have any screaming kids calling around to the house tonight."

"Why would they?"

"Ah Lily, one week away from the world and you've forgotten the date?"

"Well go on, what is it?"

"October thirty-first," smiled James. "Hallowe'en."

Sirius sat idly on his couch reading the words Dumbledore had written without truly absorbing them. His mind was on the Potters', as it had been ever since the Charm was preformed. Sirius checked on Peter everyday to make sure everything was still okay, but he slightly resented not being able to see James himself, despite the fact that it had been his idea.

A sharp knock on the door brought Sirius quickly back to the present.

"Yeah, come in."

Remus stuck his head in the door, glancing at Sirius reproachfully. "That was foolish, I could have been anybody."

"Okay then." Sirius sat up on the couch and stared at Remus. "What age were you when you were bitten?"

"Six," answered Remus slowly, "but Greyback would know that -"

"Alright, what's your middle name then?"

"John, but I hardly think -"

"What was the first prank we ever pulled at Hogwarts?"

"I… do you remember that?" asked Remus in surprise.

"No, do you?"

"No," said Remus finally. "So it's not much good asking me."

"Well that proves it, you're a Death Eater. Please, just make it quick," begged Sirius sarcastically.

"You know," said Remus as he pulled off his cloak, "some day you will have an enemy wearing a friend's face, and it'll be too late for you to fix it."

"Enough of the lecture, what do you want?"

Remus seemed taken aback. "That's not very friendly," he said lightly.

"I don't have time to be friendly."

"Alright," said Remus calmly, as he sat in the chair opposite Sirius. "I do want something actually. I want to talk to you."

"Why? What?"

"I spoke to Peter yesterday."

Remus stared hard at Sirius, as though trying to see what he was thinking.

"Oh?"

"What's going on, Sirius?"

"What do you mean, 'what's going on'?"

"If you have something to say, I'd really appreciate if you would just say it please, rather than spreading your own ideas around our friends as though they were fact."

"Our friends?"

"Yes. Peter seems to think you don't trust me."

"What did he say?"

"Does it matter?"

"I didn't say I didn't trust you," said Sirius defensively, "and he shouldn't have said anything, it was just -"

"Just what?"

"Look, Remus, I'm just edgy now, okay?" said Sirius, thinking quickly. "I don't trust anyone right now."

"Yeah, Peter said something about the man next door too…"

"Well, there you go."

"So you don't trust _anyone_?"

"No."

"Even me?"

"Look, what are you getting at? We should all be on our guard. This is war. It's about secrets and lies, it's about the strong overcoming the weak, it's about people who will go to any lengths to get what they want, and _everyone_, and I mean everyone, Remus, has to fight for himself, because let's face it, no one else will."

Silence followed these words.

"You sound like your father."

Sirius stared at Remus as though he had thrown a punch at him.

"This is a time for us to stick together, Sirius! Not go off our separate ways! I know Lily and James are in hiding, but the rest of us _need_ to stick together. This is not everyman for himself. If you can't -"

"Take it back."

Remus ignored this and continued briskly.

"Sirius, you've been working around the clock. I know you're worried about James and Lily too, but Dumbledore says they're fine, so -"

"Take it back," said Sirius more forcefully.

"If you can't trust me, I can't help you."

"Who needs you damned help?!" shouted Sirius. "Take it back!"

"No, it's true. I think you need to hear it."

"I do not sound like my father."

"You can only trust yourself? Let everyone else go to hell?"

"I never said that."

"That's what it sounded like to me."

"Isn't it interesting how words can sound so different in someone else's ears?"

"Sirius -"

"What?"

Remus stood up, and Sirius immediately did likewise.

"I'm leaving."

"It's about time."

Remus picked up his cloak, and left the flat without another word. Sirius lay back on the couch silently fuming, and reading through Dumbledore's notes every now and then, hoping to notice something new. It was only when the night began to press heavily on the room did he get up and leave for Peter's, still absorbed in angry thoughts of his conversation with Remus.

Peter's house seemed quiet and peaceful. The curtains were drawn clumsily, and there was no light filtering through the gaps. Sirius knocked three times, but there was no reply.

"Expecto Patronum."

The great silver dog swept through the house and back again to Sirius, with the news that the flat was empty. Pushing away thoughts of what he might find inside, Sirius aimed his wand at the door.

"Alohomora! _Damn_. Reducto!"

Just before the blast of the spell Sirius fired a freezing charm at the door to silence the sound. Entering the house, Sirius saw that there had been no struggle, or else the Death Eaters had been careful to put everything back where they had found it.

It was doubtful.

Sirius carefully searched each room before coming to the only logical conclusion the flat offered him.

Peter had left hiding of his own accord.


	10. Chapter Nine: Beginnings and Ends

**Chapter Nine: Beginnings and Ends**

_October 31st, 1981_

Fireworks erupted in the distance as two men stood alone in a darkened room, one quivering at the feet of the other.

"You are sure of this?"

"I swear it, my Lord — I am sure."

"Why would the Potters trust you, Wormtail? You are nothing. Quite useless, in fact."

"My Lord," Wormtail stammered, "I will prove my worth to you. The Potters trust me -"

"And you would betray them so easily? Tell me, how can _I_ trust you?"

Wormtail took a great shuddering breath. "My Lord, you are my master. I am but a simple servant,"

"That much is true indeed," interrupted Voldemort.

"But, I have made my choice. Let me prove it to you. My old life is nothing to me, and now after all of your searching I can provide you with the answer you have been waiting for. I can tell you where they are."

A brief pause followed as Voldemort seemed to consider the man in front of him.

"No," he stated firmly. "You will show me."

Mere moments later, master and servant materialised outside Godric's Hollow, at the entrance to the Potter's house. The night was cool and calm, with very little breeze. It seemed to Peter as though the whole world was holding its breath, awaiting the action that would condemn him.

They walked slowly up the path towards the gate. The silence pressed in upon Peter, he expected there to be cries of 'stop traitor!' at any moment, but none came. No one knew they were here.

They had reached the gate. Nothing but the frail metal separated his friends from their fate.

"Open it," ordered the Dark Lord.

He could just walk away. Voldemort would kill him of course, but what would one life be for three?

"Wormtail, I told you to open the gate."

The choice was left in his hands. No, he had already made his choice by telling Voldemort all he knew. There was no turning back now, was there?

"Wormtail!"

Peter laid his hand on the gate and pushed it open. He had played his part.

"Do you hear something?"

James jerked his head up from the armrest at Lily's question.

"Hmm?"

"I think I hear someone outside."

James stood up and listened carefully. The sitting room was still and quiet, shadowed by the drawn curtains. He moved towards them slowly so as not to wake the sleeping Harry in Lily's arms.

"I don't hear anyone, Lil'," he muttered, "maybe Pete's come to pay a visit at last."

James drew back the curtains and peered outside at the darkness. He exhaled heavily in shock as two red eyes stared right back at him.

Lord Voldemort smiled at James and stepped back from the window, heading for the door.

"He — he saw me. How? Oh, God no, please no."

"James? James, what is it?"

"It's Him. Lily, it's Him. Take Harry and go, I'll try to hold him off -"

"James?! Are you sure? It couldn't, how could He -"

Silence was broken as sound erupted through the house. The front door was blown off its hinges.

"Lily, please!"

James pushed her towards the stairs. She was too far away from the back door, and Voldemort blocked the only other exit. She ran upstairs, Harry bawling in her arms.

James turned around, his wand raised in time to meet Voldemort, who stepped over the door into the sitting room.

James did not need to wait for Voldemort to explain himself.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

The spell was easily repelled by Voldemort as he flicked his wand lazily.

"Now, now, James, that wasn't very polite. You don't want to raise your son with such bad manners, do you? Where is he?"

James laughed in desperation.

"They're not here. A wasted journey if you ask me, you should have gotten your facts straight. And Dumbledore's keeping an eye on the house, he'll be here in a second with the whole Ministry behind him, and -"

"No one is watching this house. Your wife and son are here. They could never leave, and no one could ever watch you, for up until an hour ago, this house was under a Fidelius Charm."

With a flick of his wrist, Voldemort lifted James off his feet and into the wall, destroying the book case behind him.

"You see, James; I do have all the facts. Your betrayer has proved himself so useful, surprisingly."

"I'll kill him."

"You won't get the chance."

Raising his wand again, Voldemort knocked James into the next wall, breaking the glass in the window with his body.

"Give me your son."

James scrambled to his feet.

"_Levi-_"

"_Protego_," Voldemort muttered, deflecting James' unfinished spell.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_"

Voldemort was forced to dodge this spell, and advanced on James as he raised his wand for another attack.

"_Immobu -_"

"I don't think so, Mr. Potter," said Voldemort as he deflected the charm. Catching James by the throat, he forced him against the wall and pointed his wand into his heart.

James struggled in vain, clutching at his wand, but his vision was hazed after Voldemort's repeated attacks. He was vaguely aware of blood running down the side of his face.

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

Green light invaded the little room, enveloping James. He heard a rushing sound that he thought must be the blood in his ears as the world went black and he hit the floor.

Harry had stopped crying. He stood at the edge of his cot, staring at his mother as she stood in front of him. It was only after getting upstairs that Lily realized her wand was beside her chair in the sitting room. She had laughed when she realized this, surprising Harry enough to stop crying and look at her as tears rolled down her face.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Lily muttered. "All these years, and here I am at the most crucial moment without magic. There isn't even hope of getting out a window now."

The struggle had ceased below them. Lily heard footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm sorry, Harry."

She turned around as the door creaked open, and Lord Voldemort entered the room with his wand raised. He sneered at her with contempt.

"You are right not to think of fighting me, Mudblood."

"I left my wand downstairs," Lily stated bluntly. There was no point in lying; it was all over for her now.

"How typical, I would expect nothing less. However, you are not my concern in this. Stand aside."

"No."

"Move, girl, or I will force you."

Lily stepped backwards, placing her body directly in front of her son. She made a show of begging and wailing, but she worded herself as carefully as she could. This was her last chance.

"Please, not Harry, not Harry! I'll do anything -"

"Stand aside, you silly girl, stand aside!"

"Please, take me instead. Take me instead of Harry."

Voldemort raised his wand in frustration. "You leave me no choice, Mudblood. Avada Kedavra!"

As her body gave way to the green light, Lily hoped that Voldemort would make the one mistake she could count on.

Silence returned to the house as the Dark Lord walked slowly towards the cot. Harry remained standing, holding onto the bars at the side, his green eyes meeting scarlet.

"Here you are; the last of your line. A shame to waste you; a powerful future must have lay ahead to bring me to this. But we must make our own fates."

Harry continued to stare into Voldemort's face, enthralled by his distorted features rather than afraid.

"Why would she die for you?" Voldemort muttered as he extended his wand. "Her sacrifice is nothing, her blood is yours. And I will spill it either way."

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

The green light and rushing noise filled the room once more as Harry fell back, his head cut deeply by the power of the curse. The light and noise reverberated around the room; light that Voldemort could see, and sounds he could hear. He felt his soul rip away as he realized his mistake too late.

"_I have already spilt that blood._"

Outside, Wormtail watched from behind the gate as the house exploded. Shielding himself from debris, he moved carefully towards the shambles.

"My Lord?"

Harry's cries met his ears in response. Lifting back some of the wreckage, he saw the child with a thin lightening bolt cut on his forehead. His mother was next to him, clearly dead. Moving away from them, Wormtail looked in shock upon James, whose face he could see behind shards of glass and timber. He turned quickly and fled, tripping over as he ran from the scene he had caused. As he picked himself up from the ground, he noticed a long thin piece of polished wood lying next to him.

Voldemort's wand.

Wormtail picked it up gingerly and pocketed it, before running out into the night.


	11. Chapter Ten: Revelations

**Chapter Ten: Revelations**

Albus Dumbledore sat alone in his office; his head bent low over parchment. He felt a constant anxiety pulling at the back of his mind, which he could only consider normal due to the stress of war. Ministry documents were piled high on a table next to him, each requiring information or assistance in one form or another. Dumbledore made a mental note to visit the Ministry itself later that day.

He lifted a quill and began to scratch away at the parchment before him, when without warning a figure cloaked in black burst through his office door before spinning around to face him.

Dumbledore lifted his head sharply, but showed no sign of alarm as he recognised the figure.

"Good evening, Severus. I do not believe we have an appointment? Though you must forgive me if that is indeed the case, the mind does wander with age."

Severus Snape threw back his hood, revealing his face which was incredibly pale.

"What can I do for you, Severus?"

Snape stared at the headmaster incredulously.

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"What have I not heard?"

"He's gone, Albus."

A brief silence passed between the two men as Dumbledore set down his quill, and gazed hard at Snape.

"Excuse me?"

"What's going on? You didn't give me any warning, and now everyone's asking questions -"

"Who is gone?"

"The Dark Lord! No one's seen hide nor hair of him since last night, and now news is coming in that Mulciber has been arrested in Kent, and we heard that Imperius Charms have started to wear off — people are giving information everywhere - there was even a raid at a safe-house in Glasgow! Though I'm not sure if there is any truth in that."

"Severus -"

"Does this mean I'll go to Azkaban now? I must know."

Dumbledore stared into the face of the anxious young man in front of him.

"You are under my protection, Severus, but your fellows are not. Where did Voldemort go last night?"

"I wasn't there then, but I heard this morning that he went after the Potters. But he couldn't have gotten to them; the Fidelius Charm -"

"Stop."

Snape stopped speaking immediately, waiting for Dumbledore's explanation, but none came.

"Albus, what is going on?"

As Dumbledore pondered this, the answer he gave surprised him.

"I must confess, I really do not know."

There was a moments silence as Dumbledore swept the entire bundle of documents off his desk and into a bag.

"Come, Severus, time is of the essence now."

"Where are we going?" Snape asked anxiously.

"To the Ministry of Magic."

When Dumbledore arrived at the Ministry with Snape moments later, he found chaos had broken out. Spokespeople were outside the main entrance dealing with the press; trying to convince them that the rumours meant nothing and everything was as it should be.

Inside however, was a very different story.

Memos zoomed from office to office, as Aurors and Unspeakables ran down corridors and hallways with paperwork under their arms. Members of the Wizengamot could be spied through doorways in serious conversation with the heads of individual departments, and through it all, Bartemius Crouch Senior could be seen surrounded by officials heading towards the main conference room.

"Mr. Crouch, may I have a word?"

"Ah, Dumbledore, I'm afraid it seems the entire of England wishes to have a word with me at the moment. I assume you've heard the rumours too?"

"Do you believe it?"

"Hard to tell really, though law enforcement is all up in a heap, apparently scores of suspects have been apprehended since last night, the system of protection and concealment He Who Must Not Be Named has in place seems to have encountered a glitch. That doesn't give any basis to say he's gone though! I'm sure someone's made a serious error on his side — and I'm sure they'll end up paying for it. Good for us though, I must say, wouldn't you agree?"

"It seems it must be a bit more than that," Dumbledore said, as he struggled alongside Crouch through the flurry of activity. "I really must have a word with you, forgive me gentlemen."

With that, Dumbledore took hold of Crouch's upper arm and steered him away from the clamouring officials who begged for his attention.

"I must say, Dumbledore, I do have business to attend to!"

"Barty, I have word that the Death Eaters have had no news from Voldemort since last night. It is believed he went to the Potters."

"Now, now, Albus, you got permission for a Fidelius Charm to be enacted in that area. What more can we do? I mean how much store can you really set by a prophecy?"

"I need you to check if the Charm is still active."

"But, Albus -"

"If you find that it isn't you may have a solid lead on where Voldemort's assumed disappearance took place."

"Oh, very well. I'll send a memo to Improper Use of Magic; they'll have the Charm on file."

"Thank you."

As Dumbledore left Crouch and crossed the corridor towards Snape, he heard excited mutters all around him.

_Do you think it's true?_

He couldn't be dead, could he?

Imagine, You Know Who - dead! It would be the end of the war!

An extremely angry Snape met him at the other side of the hallway.

"Well?"

"They are as confused as us."

"Bloody hell!"

At that moment, a young Ministry member strode forth importantly towards Dumbledore, waving a piece of parchment in his hand.

"Mr. Dumbledore, sir. Mr. Crouch asked me to inform you that the Fidelius Charm you inquired after was breached at precisely eighteen minutes past two this morning at the Potter's residence in Godric's Hollow."

The colour drained from Dumbledore's face as he read the parchment.

"Sirius was their Secret Keeper…"

"What will I do now?" asked Snape.

"Go home, I will contact you later. I need to give evidence to the Wizengamot for Sirius's arrest. I hope they will get to him on time."

"You mean Black was a Death Eater?" Snape sneered maliciously.

Dumbledore's eyes blazed as he stared at Snape.

"Go home, Severus."

"What about the Potters?"

Dumbledore folded up the piece of parchment and waved his wand, sending a silver phoenix out into the evening light.

"Hagrid."

Sirius backed away from Peter's empty house, wracking his brains to think of where he might have gone. Why on earth would Peter leave hiding now?

_Maybe he went to Godric's Hollow._

Sirius thought about it for a while without realising what it meant.

_Yeah, he probably went to check on them…_ Sirius suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He knew where Lily and James were. And if he knew where they were, that could mean only one thing.

The Fidelius Charm had been broken.

Sirius jumped onto his motorcycle and biked to Godric's Hollow immediately, letting the bike fall to the ground as he raced towards the Potter's house. As he approached the smouldering wreckage he slowed down, walking carefully towards the remains. He shook his head with each step as though hoping he could wipe the image from his eyes.

Sirius knelt before the ruins in shock, his chest aching as he realised the horrible truth of what Peter had done.

He jumped when he felt a large, heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Yeh shouldn't be here, Sirius."

"Hagrid! Hagrid, what's happened, were you here? Did you see James, is he -"

Hagrid's beetle black eyes were swimming with tears, telling Sirius all he needed to know. He rose from his knees and walked shakily into the house, almost vomiting when he saw the bodies of his friends; James's eyes staring blankly into his.

"Harry," he choked, "Where's Harry?"

"I got 'im, he's here,"

Sirius stood next to Hagrid, staring at Harry.

"He's alive? But… how?"

"'Tis a miracle," smiled Hagrid. "Poor little blighter."

"He's cut," Sirius muttered.

"Yeah, Dumbledore thought he might be."

"Give him to me, Hagrid," said Sirius suddenly. "I'm his godfather, I'll look after him."

"I'm sorry Si, but I got me orders from Dumbledore to bring 'im to Surrey, an' tha's where he's goin'."

"Hagrid, I am his legal guardian."

"I'm sorry Sirius. Yeh can take it up wit' Dumbledore later on."

"But -" Sirius stopped arguing, it suddenly dawning on him that Dumbledore knew what had happened.

Dumbledore knew.

And Dumbledore thought that he, Sirius, had been the Secret Keeper.

He took a split-second to make his decision.

"Take my bike."

"Wha'?" asked Hagrid, surprised by Sirius's sudden change in attitude.

"You can have it; I won't need it anymore. Use it to get to Surrey. Keep him safe."

"Will do, Sirius. Look after yourself, okay? It'll be fine. Dumbledore'll sort everything out."

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "… okay."

Hagrid gave Sirius one last comforting pat on the back before taking out his pink umbrella and enlarging the motorcycle for himself. Sirius heard the bike thunder away into the sky as he sat on the roadside, staring at the remnants of his friends.

It was some time later before, white and shaking, he picked himself off the ground and began to walk aimlessly down the deserted street, his tears having dried onto his face.

Dumbledore would think it was him, they all would. They would all blame him.

He deserved their blame, he knew it. It had been his plan.

But they needed to know who had betrayed them. He needed to pay.

He needed to find Peter.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Bits and Pieces

**Chapter Eleven: Bits and Pieces**

_I will find you, Peter._

I will find you, and I will kill you.

Nothing on this earth will hide you from me.

I will find you.

Sirius raced through the streets of Muggle London, his paws hitting the cobble stones softly as his canine body carried him swiftly forward. Peter's scent was in his nostrils, on his mind, in his blood — and his blood boiled with fury.

_I will kill you, Peter._

Sirius stopped to drink out of a fountain nearby. It was a bitterly cold day but his throat ached from running. He was unsure of the time; perhaps it was one o' clock in the afternoon, or two, or three.

All he could think of was Peter.

He shook back his head, wishing he could transform and stretch his body, but his canine form was much faster. Taking a final drink from the fountain, he pressed forwards through the crowds, as Peter's scent grew ever stronger.

"Could you spell the first name please, professor?"

"S — i — r — i — u — s. Sirius Black," stated Dumbledore, his voice tinged with impatience.

"Thank you, sir. And when did you say the Charm was enacted?"

"We are wasting valuable time my friends."

"Please sir, this must be done properly. Now, when was the Charm enacted?"

"On the evening of the twenty-fourth of October."

"Check that in records please."

Albus Dumbledore sat calmly, albeit impatiently, giving the clerk at the Auror office the evidence needed for an arrest. Bartemius Crouch strode through the open doorway, brushing the clerk aside.

"Forget procedure; get Magical Law Enforcement to send a retrieval squad and Obliviators into Muggle London. Black's been sighted, and it seems there may be some trouble."

"What do you mean?" asked Dumbledore.

"Please Albus, I'll need you to stay here for now, I don't want any unofficial personnel around when we close in on Black."

"Does this mean you will arrest him immediately?"

"Most certainly," said Crouch, "anyone suspected of being in league with You-Know-Who can expect fierce retribution."

"But -"

"Doris, get Magical Accidents and Catastrophes on this too, we might need them."

Dumbledore stood up, blocking Crouch's path.

"Barty, I must insist upon you telling me what has happened."

"Nothing yet, Albus," muttered Crouch. "And I want to keep it that way."

_He was close now, he was so close._

He could smell him.

He could almost feel him.

Sirius slipped into an alley and transformed back into his human frame. Stepping outside into the harsh sunlight, he brushed passed the Muggles before him and continued straight across the street.

_There you are, Peter._

Pettigrew had his back towards the street, scanning a newspaper. He put it down on the news stand and continued forwards through the throng.

Sirius was a few feet behind him. He clutched his wand in his pocket. His hand was slippery with perspiration.

"Peter!"

Wormtail kept walking, but appeared to have quickened his pace.

"PETER!" Sirius began to run to catch up with him. He couldn't lose him, not now.

Pettigrew continued to walk away.

"Don't you walk away from me, you little shit!"

Peter turned around slowly. Both men seemed oblivious to the crowds pressing in on them. It was as though someone had turned the sound off, and only their voices could be heard ringing through the street. Only their voices mattered.

"What is it, Sirius?"

"_What?_" Rage thumped at Sirius' chest, needing to break free. He thought he would scream in agony. "What the fuck do you think it is, you bastard?!"

Peter simply stared at Sirius, making him angrier still.

"How could you? How could you? I trusted you, they — James and Lily, we all trusted you, Albus, Remus -"

"So?"

Sirius stared at Peter in disbelief.

"Excuse me?"

"So what, Sirius? You never expected me to have the upper hand, did you? You only trusted me because you thought I was too thick to do anything but what you told me to. I had to do it, Sirius. The Dark Lord was taking over everything, and everyone -"

"Don't even try -"

"And he appreciated me more than you ever did — more than any of you did."

Sirius was struck dumb. This could not be his reason. He could not be trying to reason his way out of what he had done.

"And don't even think you're going to stop me now."

Peter stepped away from Sirius, letting his wand fall down from his sleeve into his hand at his back. He took a deep breath.

"LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS! HOW COULD YOU?!"

The people nearest to them stopped walking and stared at Peter as he shouted for the whole world to hear him. Sirius whipped his wand out of his pocket a second too late.

Peter turned his head as the street behind him exploded.

A ringing silence met Sirius' ears as the dust settled at his feet. Silence - a moments silence before the street in front of him erupted in noise. The screams of Muggles pierced his ears as they cradled their loved ones in the crater that had appeared in the road. Sirius could see that Peter's spell had cracked the pipes beneath.

Sirius remained standing there transfixed as he heard sirens rush ever closer. He could see Muggle police running towards the scene as Aurors approached him slowly, their wands extended. Moments later, a team of trained hit wizards from Magical Law Enforcement took aim and warned him to lower his wand.

It was only then that Sirius realised his wand was still extended towards the scene, and towards Peter.

But Peter was gone.

Sirius' eyes searched the ground for him. Then he saw it: a single bloody finger.

With a horrible sensation in the pit of his stomach Sirius realised what Wormtail had done, and what it now seemed that Sirius himself had done. He looked helplessly towards the finger, his wand, the Muggle victims and the wizards that were steadily approaching him, and he felt himself go.

He laughed at the horror of the situation. He laughed at his own stupidity for letting Peter get away. He laughed at the fact that he was still holding his wand out, and could not put it down. He laughed until he was crying as the Aurors led him away from the street to a Ministry van waiting to take him. He laughed as he sat between two Aurors, and a third sat across from him with his wand extended. He laughed until he could laugh no more, and raised his hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"Shut up, Black," one of the Aurors snarled.

Sirius became quiet, and stared out the window as the van drove away from the devastating scene that Peter had caused. Silence followed as he listened to the sound of the wheels.

"I need to speak to Albus Dumbledore."

"You're speaking to nobody, kid."

"I need to speak to him before any trial or hearing takes place. I have my rights -"

Sirius stopped speaking as the Auror beside him laughed viciously.

"A trial, kid? You can forget it. No Death Eater gets a trial."

"I'm not a Death Eater -"

"Anyone suspected of involvement with You-Know-Who is going straight to Azkaban."

"That's illegal."

"Not any more it isn't." The Auror across from Sirius unfurled a piece of parchment on his lap and shoved it in front of Sirius. "This has been in effect since August, Black. Amendment 22, section A. Applies to suspected followers of You-Know-Who only. I'd say you fit the bill."

"It isn't your decision!"

"True, it's Bartemius Crouch's decision. But the decision's been made, Black. I heard Dumbledore give the evidence against you myself."

"I need to speak to him."

"Like I said before, you aren't speaking to anybody. Out."

The Aurors on either side of Sirius pulled him out of the van into the bitter cold air of the north. The landscape had changed completely; Sirius supposed that the van had been enchanted to travel great distances in little time.

"Get in the boat."

Sirius looked over the edge of the wooden dock to see a small boat waiting for them. As he looked out across the sea, he could barely make out a rock on which he supposed Azkaban must be located. Fear gripped him suddenly as he turned towards his guards.

"You don't understand, there's been a mistake — you can't take me there, please!"

"Get in the boat, Black."

"I need to speak to Dumbledore, please!"

The Auror to his right extended his wand and pointed it at the back of Sirius' head.

"Do you want to wake up with a headache? Get in the boat."

As Sirius clambered into the boat he realised with a wave of guilt that Remus did not know what had happened. Maybe he would not know for days.

But Dumbledore would tell him. Dumbledore would tell him everything.

_And Remus will think it was me._

Sirius could not bear it any longer. He knew in his heart that if he did not get off this boat he would never leave Azkaban.

He stood up quickly and the little boat swayed dangerously to the side. The Aurors threatened him to sit down but he ignored them and put his leg over the side of the boat. Suddenly, he felt a Stunning Spell hit him hard in the back of the head. He closed his eyes and collapsed into the little boat as it continued out into the stormy sea.


	13. Chapter Twelve: The Man Worse Off

**Chapter Twelve: The Man Worse Off**

Remus' body ached after his transformation the night before. His mind was numb as Dumbledore's words washed over him, barely able to comprehend what he was hearing. But his heart — his heart was falling away. He could feel it bleeding inside of him, but he did not try to stop it. He had no reason to.

He leaned against the wall, allowing his body to slide down it slowly and come to rest on the floor. He wrapped his robes tightly around himself, shielding his body from Dumbledore's words.

"I spoke with Crouch," Dumbledore said gently. "I requested that Sirius be allowed one visitor. It took a lot to secure it, but he agreed. I expected that Sirius would ask to see me, but -"

Remus raised his head slightly.

"But what?"

"He wants to see you, Remus."

Remus put his head on his knees. His mind was drowning in a multitude of thoughts. Lily and James were dead. Harry had survived, but he had to live with relatives for his own protection. Peter was dead. And Sirius… he had killed them all.

And that killer wanted to talk to him.

"No."

"Remus -"

"I said no. How dare he? No."

"I do not ask that you forgive him. But it may be good for you to talk to him. You need to make sense of this."

"I have made sense of it," Remus muttered. "My best friend is a murderer. He has killed the only other friends I've ever had. He has taken my life away, but he did not kill me, simply because I do not matter."

"Remus -"

"It's alright, Albus. I understand everything you've told me. Thank you."

Remus stood up, clutching to the wall for support.

"I'm so sorry," Dumbledore whispered. "I know you must not be at your best after last night, but I had to tell you — rather than you find out some other way."

"Thank you."

"What will you do now?"

Remus stared at Dumbledore in surprise. He had forgotten that the world would continue to move as normal, as though nothing had happened. Where was his place in that world now?

"I don't know," said Remus softly.

"Will you come to Hogwarts? You don't have to answer now, but there is always a place there for you. You are more than qualified to teach Defense Against the -"

"No — no thank you. I can't go back there, not now. There's too much there… memories and… no, I can't."

"What will you do, Remus? I would be much happier if you were close by."

"I'm sorry… I can't."

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed heavily. The past few days seemed to have added years to his age. "Keep in touch, please."

"I will."

"Remus," Dumbledore reached into his pocket and withdrew a sealed envelope. "This is a letter from the Ministry. You will need to present it if you go to see Siri -"

"I'm not going."

Dumbledore set the letter down upon a table beside the window. The sunlight filtered inside and danced upon the parchment.

"It's here if you want it."

Remus made no reply. Dumbledore turned to leave, but his eyes were drawn back to the young man before him.

"Remus -"

"I'll be okay, Albus. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"I know."

Dumbledore turned to leave once more, pulling the door towards him. He did not want to leave Remus so alone, but he knew that there was nothing else to do.

"I'll be fine," Remus whispered.

Dumbledore closed the door quietly behind him.

Remus sat on the edge of the small boat staring absently into the murky waves beneath him. The sea was rough, and the icy winds of the north bit at his face.

The towers of Azkaban loomed ominously overhead. He could sense the power of numerous Dementors as the boat rowed ever closer of its own accord. He was completely alone; very few had the opportunity to pay a visit to the notorious prison, and even fewer took the offer.

Checking the time, Remus saw it was almost three o'clock. He knew if he was late he would not be allowed inside, and that an alternative time would never be given. This was the only chance he was ever going to get.

He found himself wishing he would be late.

He knew he could order the boat to return to the shore whenever he wanted, but every time he opened his mouth to do so, he could not find the words.

And so the little boat rowed onwards.

He could not remember why he had come. He could barely remember who he was.

The boat knocked sharply against the rock-face, causing Remus to look up from his reverie. He clambered out of the boat awkwardly, stiff from the slow journey.

The large oak doors creaked open for him as he approached. A pale ministry official stood just inside the door, awaiting his arrival. He looked as though he had recently vomited, and could do so again soon. He was quite young, and Remus correctly guessed that he had been handed down the job of receiving him as no one else wanted it.

"Re — Remus Lupinnn?" the young man stuttered.

Remus nodded.

"Thank God. Can I see your letter of approval?"

Remus reached into his pocket and handed over the letter Dumbledore had secured for him.

"Go right ahead, sir," said the official, gesturing down the long dank hallway. He watched Remus as he passed, plainly relieved that he had not asked for his accompaniment.

Azkaban was eerily quiet. Remus could hear a distant dripping, and sometimes a faint muttering could be heard from the cells as he passed, but it was mostly the sound of his own footsteps that echoed into the darkness.

As he turned the corner, he knew that the cell he had come to see was next. He contemplated turning around, but his feet carried him to the bars.

He stood a little away from the cell door, forcing himself to look inside the gloom.

Sirius looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, and rose to his knees on the straw-covered ground when he saw who it was.

"Remus? Moony, is that you?"

Remus nodded.

Sirius struggled to his feet and clung to the bars in front of Remus. He looked as though he had not had any sleep; his hair was uncombed and disorderly, and his robes were dirty. His face was a mixture of suppressed joy and despair.

"Dumbledore said you wouldn't come. He said it."

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead he just stood near the bars and nodded, head bowed.

Sirius stretched his arms through the bars to embrace Remus, but he was too far away. Remus did not move any closer.

"I didn't do it, Remus. You know that, right? I didn't do it. It wasn't my fault."

Remus remained silent, staring at the floor.

"Does Dumbledore know? Does he know that Peter is a rat? And that I'm a dog, does he know that? And Prongs… how Prongs was a stag? Did you tell him?"

Remus shook his head slowly.

"Tell him. You have to tell him. It wasn't my fault, Remus."

Remus stared at Sirius, having finally found his voice. "It was your fault, Sirius."

"I — I know. But you don't know, it was Peter,"

"You killed Peter."

"I meant to kill Peter, but -"

"No, Sirius, you killed him."

"No, no, Remus. Moony, no, you don't know everything -"

"It was your fault. It was all your fault."

"I know. I know, but -"

"It was all your fault."

"I didn't know this would happen," Sirius pleaded, "I didn't mean for it to happen, Remus."

Remus's wet eyes burned in a rare anger. "You didn't mean for it to happen? I've lost my whole life -"

"Remus -"

"- and you're telling me you just made a mistake?"

"But Peter -"

"PETER'S DEAD, SIRIUS!"

His voice rang out into the silence. Sirius stared at Remus in shock.

"Peter's dead… and so are you. You're dead to me now."

"Remus -"

"I can't do this, Sirius. You can't ask me to do this. Do you have any idea what it was like for me when I thought you believed I was the spy? And now, to find out it was nothing but - but a clever ploy -"

"I'm sorry, Remus." Sirius' eyes shone out at Remus through the bars. "I'm so sorry. Please… please forgive me. Please don't leave me here."

"What?"

"Please, Moony," Sirius' voice broke as he pleaded through the bars, "Please don't. I — I hear things in here… I remember things. I can't… please don't leave me here, please."

Remus stared at Sirius, unable to speak. His friend's pitiful cries shook him. He could feel the hot tears prickle his eyes as Sirius began to sob uncontrollably.

"I didn't know this would happen, please, please, Moony, I'm so sorry… I'm sorry."

The low gong of a bell rang out through the damp corridor. Remus stood rooted to the spot.

"I have to go now, Sirius. My time is up."

"No… no, no, no… Moony? Moony don't go, please. Please don't leave me here."

"I have to go now, Sirius."

"Please don't leave me here, Moony!" cried Sirius in desperate panic. "Moony!"

"Don't do this, Sirius."

"Moony, it's Padfoot. Don't leave me. Don't."

"I can't." Remus closed his eyes and turned his back on the cell. He could see the young ministry official waving frantically at him down the hall and pointing at his watch.

"Moony," pleaded Sirius, "you can't leave me here."

Remus started to walk away.

"Moony! REMUS!"

Remus did not turn back.

"Remus! Remus!" Sirius screamed in panic. Dementors glided past Remus towards the anguish to feed.

"Don't! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"

The oak doors snapped shut. Remus turned around, but they would not open. They would never open for him again, unless he was in chains.

Remus sat in the boat as it slowly rowed away. He could not hear anything now. Azkaban's outline became blurred, as the rock became more distant. It soon disappeared from his sight.

He should not have come. What was he thinking; that he would get answers, or some kind of release from this pain?

But now the pain had tripled. Sirius' cries echoed in his mind. He knew that Sirius deserved to be in there for what he had done, but his heart — his heart was torn to shreds.

Remus sat back in the boat, begging it to take him faster and further, back to a time when everything was safe and warm, a time when children were forever young, and pain was just a scrape on the knee.

**Epilogue**

_November 3rd 1981_

Remus left the old stone church and headed out into the streets of Muggle London. Unwillingly his feet led him to the spot where Sirius had ended the lives of so many Muggles. The scene was still rife with activity, and he was soon ushered out of the way by the Muggle detectives as they had the scene photographed.

Remus passed by a news stand, and stopped to view the papers, not realizing it was the same stand Peter had stopped at the day before. One headline loudly proclaimed "Gas Explosion in Central London Leaves Thirteen Dead."

"So that's the story now," Remus muttered, and placed the paper back on its pile.

A part of him wished he could have his memory wiped like all those Muggle witnesses. A clean slate, blissfully unaware of the horrors his life entailed. But even though he knew that he could not live such a false life, he questioned why anyone should live such a painful one.

His mind wandered to Harry, and guilt crept into his heart. That child would have a tougher life than he could dream of. And he would have to do it alone too. Remus hoped that he would meet Harry again, when the time came for him to be introduced to the wizarding world.

For now, however, he would keep to himself. He would wait in the shadows for the time when he would be called forth again.

_For this is how nature intended it,_ Remus thought, as he was swallowed by the heaving crowd and soon lost.

_The wolf, alone._

**The End.**


End file.
